So now you’re single and your divorce is finalised. Or maybe there’s a long way to go before your divorce is final, but you’ve separated from your ex-partner. Whatever the situation, you’re about to enter a new phase in your life. One of the things that can take a battering during your separation or divorce is your social life. Either you lose friends because they choose sides, single parenthood is overwhelming you, you’ve moved out of your home into a smaller place so entertaining is difficult, or simply the divorce has taken its toll and you’ve found yourself isolated, homebound, and feeling depressed.
1. Challenge yourself to say yes as often as possible
During your divorce/separation, you may not have gone out as much as you’d have liked too, or you didn’t feel like going out and declined invitations. As you see new experiences or receive invitations out, start accepting them and agreeing to turn up to events, gatherings and parties. You’ll find both people you know and new people to get to know! Remember, you deserve to have fun and feel happiness.
2. Contact Old Friends
If you’ve fallen out of touch with some old friends, it’s never too late to reach out again. Send a quick message. Even just a simple ‘hello! It’s been a while, how have you been?’ can be enough to restart your relationships. You can ask how they are and let them know you’re back on the ‘social scene’. Try and see if you can arrange some lunch dates or an evening at home with them! Do it wherever you feel most comfortable, without forgetting to enjoy yourself.
3. Be open to new people talking to you wherever your are
If you start making the changes listed here in your life, new people will start to walk into your life. When this happens, be open to new people talking to you, asking you on a date, making friends with you and perhaps inviting you for a drink or to an event. You don’t have to agree to everything (if you’re not ready to date, go at your own pace!), but be open to talking and getting to know new people. You might just find some lifelong friends along the way.
4. Host a dinner or have a party
This is an excellent way to bring some old friends together and meet new ones. You can rekindle old friendships whilst getting to know others at the same time. Ask your friends to bring plus ones (if you’re comfortable) or invite some neighbours or work colleagues you haven’t gotten to know yet. If you’re more of an introvert or just not a party person, you can always invite a few people over for a chilled evening with movies and snacks
5. Join a class, gym, or start a hobby
Another way to meet new people is to join a class in your area or a club, whether it be knitting, art, cooking or anything else that interests you. You’ll find like-minded people who enjoy similar hobbies to you and also get the chance to have fun away from any stressors in your life.
A gym is another great place. It can have thousands of members and you will definitely come across new and interesting people. While your physical health improves, so does your mental health through the new social interactions you’ll have.
Don’t be afraid to start any of these on your own. Finding something for yourself is good for the mind after a divorce or separation.
6. Change your routine
If you carry on doing the same things at the same time and at the same places, how can you expect things in your life to change? Try changing your typical routine with some of these suggestions –
- Shop at a different store, or at the same store but at a different location.
- Change the day and time you go grocery shopping.
- Find new restaurants in your area than the usual ones you visit.
- Go to a different shopping mall instead of your local one.
- Visit a library to borrow a book instead of ordering one from Amazon.
- Find a new pub to go for a drink rather than visiting the same one in your local area.
- Take a walk, explore new areas or ones you rarely go down (as long as they’re safe!), you might find some new people or places to socialise.
Some of these might seem silly at first, but we can meet the best of people in the most unexpected places. So give it a go!
7. Volunteer in your local community centre
This is a great way to get to know your community better! Not only will this make you feel good because you’re supporting the community, but it will help you to meet new people from your area. People you’ll probably bump into on the street often or be able to make afternoon tea plans with when you’re feeling bored.
8. Raise money for charity
Do a sponsored run or walk. Have a bake sale on your street! This will encourage you to talk to people and perhaps make new friends whilst doing some good. You’ll come across many interesting people worth getting to know. Doing this will also give you something fun and fulfilling to do with your time, improving your mental health in the process.
9. Don’t let your divorce become your focus, look to the future instead of the past
You can explain your situation and divorce if you choose to, but be careful not to focus on this and make it all you talk about. Be positive – talk about the future, your hobbies, your new life and what you want. The past is in the past, look forward to all the good waiting for you. This is a time for new opportunities and experiences to fill your life. You are more than your divorce.
Share your experiences with finding new friends, and make some more on our forum and social media!
