When you’re going through a rough time, it’s very easy for your head to start thinking negatively. It’s normal. It’s actually been shown that the human brain has a negativity bias – your brain naturally gives more weight to the negative experiences we go through rather than the positive ones. So when you’re going through a traumatic event, such as a divorce, it’s easy to fall into focusing on the negative.
Going through life with the right mindset is important. Teaching your mind to participate in positive thinking will change how you perceive yourself and the world. It can even help you work through and remedy what you’re going through.
There are many ways for you to learn how to shift your thinking and change these negative thoughts into positive ones. If you do this, you will find you will cope better with the decisions you need to make, reduce your stress and manifest a better future for yourself.
1. Go Outside
When your negative thoughts begin to surface, go for a walk and surround yourself with nature. A stroll in the local park, some fresh air or sunshine. Being surrounded by nature whilst you take a walk will allow you to breathe, take oxygen into your body, calm your negative thoughts and allow you to deal with them in a better fashion. Once you have returned from your walk, do something, watch something or listen to something that makes you feel good. Something that will help further put you in a better headspace and replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. You can return and deal with what caused your negative thoughts with a different frame of mind.
2. Put your thoughts to paper
When your negative thoughts constantly revolve around your head, they may begin to fester. Carrying them can begin to feel like a weight on your shoulders. One that can lead to further problems such as social isolation, low self-esteem, or depression.
One thing you shouldn’t do is ignore them and push them down.
Transfer your thoughts to paper and write about how you feel. Don’t sugar-coat. Write your true feelings. Negative or positive. This can give your mind some relief and also help you identify what’s causing the negative thoughts. Where and when they usually surface so you can be better prepared to face them.
3. Go get a cuddle or spend time with someone close to you
A cuddle or time spent with the right person can be comforting and give you a feeling of security. To be held or spend time with a loved one when you are in distress or when you have negative thoughts will calm you and put you in a better mindset to deal with your thoughts.
You can also give yourself love and comfort by treating your body with the love it deserves. Go read some of our self-care articles to help you do this and get yourself into a routine of making your body feel loved.
By doing this, you are encouraging your mind to see yourself with love and value. This treatment can do wonders for your confidence and self-esteem, making your mind more likely to shift into positive thinking about yourself and your surroundings.
4. Treat Yourself To Something Nice
Whether it be a food you’ve always wanted to try, a new scented candle, or another new product, treat yourself! One of your priorities should be to make yourself feel good.
Doing something for yourself when you’re feeling down can make you feel a little better and let your mind and body know that it deserves to feel happy and be treated with kindness. The release of happy hormones in your body can also give you the boost you need to go about your day with positivity.
If money is tight, there are things you can do at home to treat yourself, such as incorporating the foods/ingredients you’ve wanted to try into your daily meals or making some inexpensive homemade beauty products to make yourself feel better. For the homemade products, check out our article on ‘Making your own beauty products‘ to help you make your mind and body feel loved properly.
Remember, the goal here is to shift your mind into believing that you are worthy of love and kindness, worthy of enjoying your life. The small pleasures are beneficial, but overall it should raise your perceived self-worth, teaching your mind to think more positively about yourself and your environment.
5. Bring humour into your life
You may be at a stage in your life where everything around you is more serious than it needs to be, especially when you’re going through tough times. But this is a time where you should welcome more humour into your life! Find humour in your everyday life, let yourself laugh and smile whenever you get the chance. Life is for enjoyment. When you feel like you’re living in the dark, letting in the light can make things feel so much better.
It may be difficult at times to do this but there are many things you can do to release your emotions and bring up your mood, such as reading funny jokes, doing ‘silly’ things that your inner child wants to do, or sitting down and watching a comedy. Bringing laughter into your life will do wonders for your mental state, allowing you to think more positively about yourself and your surroundings.
6. Make a 'Things I love about myself' List
When you’re going through a tough time mentally, remembering all the good about yourself can seem like an impossible task. It’s easy to think about ourselves in a negative light when you’ve learned to think about yourself this way. Whether that be due to your previous relationship or your childhood, changing your mindset can be difficult. So, let your pen and paper do it for you!
Grab a pen and some paper and make a list of all the good things about you. Writing this list will remind you of all the positives about you that your mind can’t remember when you’re feeling down. Start by bullet-pointing the abstract – ‘I am kind’ or ‘I am funny’. Include statements such as – ‘I believe in myself and my abilities’ and ‘I am capable of anything I set my mind to’. Ask your friends for some suggestions if you’re struggling. Then, list the things you do or have done that you love, such as ‘I am continuing to work on myself everyday even though it’s hard’ or ‘I leave bread out for the birds’. Write anything you can think of, no matter how big or small.
Do this over a few days if you need to. Put the list away safely in your cupboard or drawer and return to it whenever you have negative thoughts. Place it in front of you and read it a few times. Slowly, this will retrain your mind to shift to positive thinking about yourself.
A quick note about your list…be generous with it and don’t hold back.
7. Experience the stillness within a hurricane
Going through a rough time, can feel like getting caught in a hurricane. Everything starts to get overwhelming, making it can be difficult to ignore what’s going on and embrace thinking positively. So, when it starts to get a bit too much, pretend you’re standing in the eye of a hurricane.
They say that the most surreal and silent place in a hurricane is in its centre. A calm space in the midst of the storm. Stop what you’re doing and walk into another room or space. Preferably where there is minimal noise or movement. Close your eyes and imagine you are standing at the centre of the storm. Feel the silence, feel the peace. Forget your thoughts for a moment and take a deep breath. Look around you and feel safe where you’re standing. Nothing will hurt you. Imagine the negative thoughts leaving your mind and joining the hurricane around you.
Take however long you need to do this. If you can, once you have spent some time doing this, take time away from what is causing or exacerbating your negative thoughts and do something good for yourself. Watch a comedy, read a book or listen to some music. Anything to put your mind in a better headspace and not feel overwhelmed. Go read our article on ‘finding a self-care activity’ if you need some help with this.
Even when you feel as though you’re caught in a hurricane, find the eye of the hurricane. Step into another space and give yourself a moment of peace to gather your thoughts. Time to calm yourself and give your mind a break.
Doing this will prevent your thoughts from getting worse and allow your mind to feel more peace. A more content mind retains the ability to shift to a positive mindset, helping you along your journey to achieve this change in your thought pattern.
8. Have a nap
When you are overwhelmed with negative thoughts and feeling upset, stop whatever you’re doing, take your shoes and socks off, grab a cosy blanket and take a nap. Your mind may be feeling too overloaded to let any positive thoughts reach the surface of your mind. Taking a nap will increase your span of patience, reduce your level of stress, and make you more efficient at getting through your day.
Getting the much-needed rest will do you the world of good. Even if you can’t fall asleep straight away, letting your body lie down and relax can still alleviate your mental anguish and will help you on your journey to achieving positive thoughts. You will probably wake up feeling more relaxed and able to work through your negative thoughts, leaving your mind able to create a positive content space.
9. Meditate
Meditation is an effective way to train your mindset into one ready to welcome positivity and contentment. Meditation can help you gain more control over your mental state, teaching you to acknowledge the negative thoughts and move past them. Rather than experiencing repeated anxiety and sadness over them, you will learn to deal with them in a calm and effective manner. Overtime, practising meditation will make it easier for you to shift into a happier mindset, allowing a wave of peace to wash away your negative thoughts.
You will have days when you fall back into those negative thoughts, and there will be days where the negativity can overwhelm you.
It’s important to accept it. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s going to happen and that’s okay. Accept your emotions and work through them with our tips above. It’s a long process but one that will leave your mind in a better state.
What do you do to keep your mind thinking positively about yourself and your life? Let us know on our forum and social media. Help each other out and share your ideas.
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We do not offer any form of medical or psychological advice. The information in our wellbeing articles are offered for educational purposes only. Our wellbeing articles are not intended to diagnose, treat or prevent any disease. Thank you.
