Hello, so pleased to find this forum and hope that someone may be able to advise me. My spouse and I separated 18 years ago. We divided everything on a 50:50 basis. This was all fully calculated, written down and we signed it, however nothing was made legal but we were both happy with it for 18 years until now. 18 years on we are going to divorce and it's going to have to go to court for a judge to decide the financial split. My main concern is; will our agreement of splitting our assets 18 years ago be the accounts that are taken into account, or will it be our assets as they stand now that will be taken into account for the judge to make the decision as to how to split. A lot has changed in 18 years, but I believe I'm now in a financially better position now than my spouse. I have lived frugally, been careful, prudent with money etc. He has, it would appear, lost most of his 'pot' and has had more children in another relationship, whom he now financially supports in private school etc. If it is our finances as at today I could well find myself supporting him and his children. Does anyone know how this would work out? Any help, advice would be most welcome. Thank you in advance.
Im really sorry you're going through this, I also had a partner who was very irresponsible with their finances and tried to come back for more! Before i can tell you what I learnt, can I ask you a few things? Do you have kids? What's his finances like, like is there a new partner in his life contributing? Because these kind of things will make a big difference in how to proceed!
I'm pleased I found this too! Its quite new so not a huge amount of people yet but these help guides have really been a real lifesaver.
Em xx
Hi Em and thanks for responding. My kids are grown up so not dependant. Spouse does have a new partner with whom he's had children but I don't know whether she contributes or not, we have had very little contact over the 18 years. He has a decent pension - which he had agreed to give me 50% of but has now stopped doing that. I think he's lost a lot of his capital from our marital pot in various ways.
There are a lot more complexities; he lives overseas and his pension is administered in Jersey, where there is no 'pension sharing'.
I know because of all these complexities I am going to have to have a solicitor involved, but I want to 'know' as much as possible beforehand, to save myself as much as I possibly can, as the outcome of this will rule my future. I'm 66 and he's 68.
Yes, the guides look great and I'm steadily going through the process.
Thanks again
Sorry to reply so late! Had a busy week with the kids.
I think now this is going to depend on how you argue the case in front of the judge. He has kids which are not your responsibility. It will be his new partner's responsibility to take care of them with him/she should have to bare that responsibility as the biological/main parent which you aren't. She is present in the children's lives and you are not.
The way you live is more frugal and careful, whereas he hasn't. It's important as it could influence how much is split.
Fill out a witness statement with the information - be concise when you do it and explain these circumstances. Try to keep emotion out of it. There's a page on this website that talks about witness statements - https://iamlip.com/statements-documents-and-bundles-you-will-need-to-produce-for-the-court/your-witness-statement-form-c120-witness-statement-template/
Hope this could help!
Hello again Em and thank you very much for your time replying.
Again, very useful information. Thank you for the link to the witness statement. Such a great resource. I had not even realised that it was going to be possible to submit such a document.
I've got lots of information about my situation that I would like taking into account, one of the main points being that I have no pension entitlement of my own as I accompanied my spouse during his 30 year international career, as a dependent spouse “corporate wife” accompanying and fully supporting him as his career took him to various different countries, where for the most part it was stamped on my Visa I was "not permitted to work"(although I was able to do voluntary work). My role was very definitely a 'job' but there was no pay involved. His job frequently took us to very inhospitable countries, often where there were no medical facilities, a very poor standard of accommodation, war zones, etc. etc - I realise this is too much information, but I endured all this with him for his career only to end up in the situation I am - impoverished! I think he feels that by cutting my funding off completely and abruptly I will not be able to argue my case in court as the costs of solicitors, barristers and court appearances are beyond me. He holds all the power - as it has always been!
We had met at school at 16 and 17 and married at 21 and 23. I had accompanied him in his work until he retired. Feeling very unfairly treated.
Thanks for the advice to try to keep emotion out of it, I will, but at the same time will need to be able to convey the injustice of his decision.
Bye and thanks again for your time.
