Hi, I fled due to Domestic Violence almost 2 years ago. My ex continues the abuse economically and through the court system. The police are finally about to take the file to CPS but I may well have the financial hearing before then. I have a forensic accountant's report showing he has taken thousands of joint funds. It also shows he has used my ID to gain credit cards and stolen my savings of around 50k plus our child's.
He has not answered questions fully, failing to disclose. At the 2 hearings to date the judge has said I shouldn't go for conduct and just negotiate a deal with him, also threatening me with costs.
He wants more than half the equity, doesn't see our child and his pension is highly valuable. If he signed the house over to me and I left his pension alone I'd still be out of pocket!
My question is how do you negotiate with half the info? I know I have to be seen to negotiating but no idea where to even start and time is running out now!
Firstly our deepest apologies for the delay in getting back to you. This forum is run by volunteers and it is currently the summer holidays, meaning that we are very understaffed and have been unable to offer support to everyone who has reached out. We are hoping to be back up and running once holidays are over and volunteers are able to return.
It sounds like you are in a difficult predicament. This is something that isn’t unusual, it is very much a common occurrence in the family court.
It is hard to move forward with the financial part without all the information. There are many factors that need to be taken into consideration so that the split can be fair too you and your child. Judges tend to be pro mediation/talking it out to see if a couple can sort it out themselves, unfortunately they don’t realise that it is not always helpful where post separation abuse is present. In terms of the pension, this page might be able to help you figure out how it can be dealt with fairly
https://iamlip.com/dividing-pensions-and-pension-sharing-orders/ Help Guide 5 may also be helpful for more advice on handling finances.
Also, if you have physical evidence (forensic report) that will be important in your negotiations. You must explain how this will affect the quality of life for you and your child.
Aside from this, there are a few things we would recommended you do to begin with -
Book a meeting with Citizens Advice
Contact Surviving Economic Abuse
Investigate if you qualify for legal aid
Contact We Are Advocate.
Depending on your situation, we would also recommend getting a McKenzie friend. Although they are not allowed to give you legal advice. They can help you out your case together, fill out forms that are specific to all the details of your situation.
Wishing you the best with your court hearing.
