When we talk about manipulation tactics, we’re referring to the attempt to control, exploit, or influence another person through the use of certain verbal and non-verbal responses and behaviours.
They might sound obvious to most when spoken out loud, but in reality, it’s not easy identifying these tactics when they’re happening to you. They can be pretty effective because relationships are built on trust and love, both of which can be exploited to control or influence the other person to act or be a certain way.
Read below some of the most common manipulation tactics used and see if you recognise any of them –
Constant Criticism
This is a form of manipulation that deliberately lowers a person’s self-esteem through constant attacks on their character. There’s a difference between constructive criticism and manipulative criticism – the first one is criticism that is encouraging and comes from a place of understanding, whilst the second is simply an attack that focuses on the negatives with the aim of ridiculing or shaming their partner.
It’s a way for the perpetrator to gain control over their partner as the constant attacks lower self-esteem and plant seeds of doubt. This makes the partner more likely to try and change for the perpetrator, believing that they are the problem.
Gaslighting
This is a term that has been thrown around a lot over the last few years, but this in no way should dampen the seriousness of what gaslighting is. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that aims to make a person confused and doubtful about what they are experiencing, distorting reality.
It makes you question yourself. Whether how you’re feeling or seeing things is correct or not. The doubt slowly grows, making it difficult to trust how you feel, so instead of listening to yourself, you go with what the perpetrator is claiming to be the truth.
They may start to call you ‘crazy’ or ‘sensitive’ when you talk about how you’re feeling, deny doing or saying things you know they did, or try to twist the way a situation happened.
This makes it easier to be controlled since you automatically doubt your perceptions and believe that what they’re saying is the truth.
Love-Bombing
This refers to the practise of showering their partner with excessive affection, attention, and love in order to influence the partner into staying and increase their dependence on the perpetrator. Examples of this may be a bombardment of gifts, giving excessive compliments, telling you what you want to hear, and them being bothered about boundaries you set. Just because a partner does some of the actions mentioned above, it doesn’t always mean that you’re being love-bombed. Trust how you’re feeling. If something feels wrong about what’s happening, then you’re probably right.
There may be a constant switch from extreme kindness and love to abusive behaviour, such as gaslighting, passive aggressiveness, and criticism.
The extreme love convinces the victim that they should stay with their partners or that they are obligated to stay with their partners.
This makes the relationship unhealthy as it’s difficult to maintain boundaries when the person is being love-bombed.
Giving you the silent treatment
This emotional manipulation tactic is used to increase the intended target’s guilt and stress over the situation. The intentional alienation is effective in causing the person to psychologically suffer, questioning their own role in what happened and to eventually approach their partner to reconcile and apologise in order to stop the silence.
Whilst being given the silent treatment, the victim may feel increasingly upset, uncomfortable, or guilty. The ability for both partners to have healthy communication is greatly diminished if this tactic is used often.
Threatening Behaviour
Although this can seem like a pretty obvious tactic, many don’t recognise it in practice. When talking about this, we’re referring to threatening behaviours displayed in order to force another person to do something. Examples of this include someone threatening to harm themselves or leave the relationship if their partner doesn’t do what they want them to do.
Although threats to self-harm must be taken seriously and help should be called, you should stay strong in your set boundaries to protect your emotional and physical health. Encourage them to seek help without compromising yourself.
If you find yourself recognising any of these behaviours in your relationship, please reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or a professional. There is always a way.
If you feel ready, come tell us your experiences on our forum and social media. It might just help someone else recognise the signs in their relationships.
DISCLAIMER
We do not offer any form of medical or psychological advice. The information in our wellbeing articles are offered for educational purposes only. Our wellbeing articles are not intended to diagnose, treat or prevent any disease. Thank you.
